Thursday, December 29, 2011

Dear Sisters, Part 1

It's not often I step on my soapbox but tonight I have something that absolutely must be said or else I'm going to go crazy. As always, I say my words with sincerity and love.

To the young women in their teens to early 20's whom I know you personally or know of you more than I actually know you in person...

Please, start looking at your lives and yourselves from a different perspective. All the time I read your status updates about how you're happy one moment than you have "drama" in your life the next. Do you not realize that this drama and stress is there because your attitude allows it to be? Not only that, you're allowing the wrong people in your life as well- People who KNOW they are causing you to feel the way you do about yourself and your life. Why do you continue to hold onto people who deliberately hurt you? You.deserve.better. There is so much more to the life you are living now, and people who do nothing but bring added stress and negativity to your life will hold you back or make your journey to success much harder than it has to be. You know who these people are. Stay away from them. Be courageous. Cherish your heart above heading their negative attitudes and mentalities. Life is so precious and I hate see so many of you wasting it. Almost 3 years ago I was distracted and focused on things that don't really matter. Ever since my doctor told me I had cancer, life hasn't been the same. Sometimes I miss my old life, even the useless "drama" I had in it because I was able to do something about it. Now I fight for my life every day. I fight to stay hopeful, to see my nephews grow up, to have another adventure with my friends, to have movie nights with my family, to have my dad give me away at my wedding, to one day teach MY band kids... I fight something that I have no control over, yet I still believe that one day I will be able to do all the things cancer has tried to take away.

Secondly, start believing and loving WHO GOD MADE YOU TO BE! Physically, mentally, spiritually...in all ways. Be around people who love you for who you are, and respect you in all aspects. All the time I see pictures of you getting "dolled up" with tons of make-up, heels, ridiculously short skirts/shorts and shirts that can hardly be considered shirts in the first place. This may make you feel more attractive on the outside, but they appeal to the wrong type of man. Not only does it appeal a man who will not love, cherish, and respect you, but it disgusts men who will treat you like you want and deserve to be treated. I have wonderful, godly guys in my life who have said the very words I just reported hearing. They prefer women who do not succumb to the ways of the world but live and act righteously in God's eyes. If you want to feel beautiful (and I want you too as well), accept WHO and HOW God made you to be. For years I have seen magazine covers with supermodels on the cover and wondered to myself it that is the "norm" than where does that leave people like me. I used to be focused on wanting to look like them instead of appreciating the beauty God had already given me. I had a masectomy when I was 24. While you're worried about wearing the right push-up bra to show off your cleavage, I wear a bra specially designed so I can insert a prosthetic breast into one of the sides so I can look "normal". When I want to get "dolled-up" I apply foundation, blush, all that fun stuff. I have to draw my eyebrows on my face because mine have almost completely fallen out and I don't use mascara because my eyelashes fall out too easily as well. I used to shave my head once a week but the chemo has thinned it out so much I now shave my head once every 2 weeks and wear wigs quite often. The amazing thing is every time I look into the mirror in the morning, no hair, no make-up, and a chest that is scarred up and flat on one side of my body, I still smile! It has nothing to do with the way I look- it's the fact that I love WHO I am. I'm not perfect. I wasn't considered the smartest, prettiest girl in high school. I used to have very low self-esteem, especially in my teen years. In a lot of ways, I had to lose a lot of my physical traits to realize that cherishing myself spiritually is what matters most because I had allowed the world's views of beauty to distract and distort my love towards myself. NEVER AGAIN! Now my question to you is- What are you allowing to get in the way of loving yourself? When you think about yourself, WHO do you think you are? This question is important because it brings me to the next topic I’m going to address- Identity in Christ.

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